Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Living La Vida Mediocre

My husband Dan and I have a running joke with my friend Dawn. She is one of my oldest and best friends, and during the time I dated Dan, she was my roommate. The two of them have always been buddies. A few years ago, in a moment of supreme misguidedness on her part Dawn told me—IN FRONT OF DAN—that I got one of the good ones. I'm sure some of you are saying, awwww, isn't that nice? Well, if that's your reaction, you aren't married to one of the good ones! If you are, you know what I know: he'll never let me FORGET that I'm married to one of the good ones once he's been TOLD by a WOMAN who is not his WIFE that he is one of the good ones. You with me?

Okay, ladies, think about this for a minute. One of your best friends, who has had some experience with a few of the bad ones, gives your husband that kind of compliment right to his face. Say it with me now: Noooooooo! It's a violation of the supreme girlfriend code of conduct, and I've never let her live it down. Sadly for me, HE has never let EITHER of us forget it!

On a recent Saturday morning—before coffee—I was talking to him (he would call it badgering) about something or other, and he reminded me that I'd gotten one of the good ones. It was 9:15 on a Saturday morning! I emailed her to let her know her special brand of magic was once again at work in my life! I teasingly tell her all the time that she's lucky I still talk to her. Dan takes issue with the word "lucky" in that statement. On a recent night out with my high school friends, of which Dawn is one, I discovered an envelope in my purse with $20 and a note to buy the girls a drink from "one of the good ones." Do you see what I'm dealing with?

Last week, I changed plans to accommodate something he wanted to do. When I pointed out to him that I been amazingly thoughtful on his behalf, I reminded him that HE got one of the good ones. Oh no, he says, you are not allowed to give that title and neither am I. Only Dawn has that power. So he appealed to her and was granted her approval to refer to me as one of the good ones. But then it hit me: a lot of responsibility and expectations come with that title. Did I really want to take that on? In the end, I declined the promotion to one of the good ones and decided to continue my nearly 17-year run as one of the mediocre ones.

There is, after all, only so much room in the house the GOOD one and HIS ego! What about you? Are you one of the good ones or one of the mediocre ones?